There is only 1 major aspect of your life that ultimately determines your success – your relationships.
You don’t just have relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Heck, no! There are 7 other relationships that have a significant impact on how you make decisions.
First, let’s explore why an influential leader (entrepreneur or intrapreneur) needs to ensure their relationships are in prime condition.
Ultimately, we ALL seek out two prime goals in life – happiness and fulfilment. The ways we attain those internal experiences are as varied as there are people on the planet. (That’ll be 7.6 billion.)
How a person decides to attain their happiness and fulfilment depends on how they’re neurologically wired and their cumulative life experiences. The wiring is vital in determining what areas of life a person is ‘successful’.
Take someone who aspires to be a billionaire. According to the Forbes 2017 Billionaire’s Rich List, there are currently 2,043 billionaires in the world. That’s 0.000027% of the world’s population. In other words, 2-3 people out of every 100,000 are billionaires, including those who were born wealthy.
In order to attain such levels of success, one must develop the thinking and behaviour of the ultra wealthy. Unfortunately, such aspirations come at a cost. Jon Ronson, author of The Psychopath Test, told Forbes Magazine:
“They (the wealthy) lack things that make you human: empathy, remorse, loving kindness.”
The same Forbes article goes on to talk about the 7 Traits Shared by Psychopaths and the Wealthy. It makes for interesting reading.
Why do your relationships affect your decisions?
Every decision you make has multiple levels of consequences. There is the primary consequence and then the secondary, tertiary, etc. consequences.
When an individual has a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship, they feel high self-worth and self-esteem about that relationship. Those decisions are driven from a place of abundance and creativity.
Where the relationship is lousy, tainted and unfulfilled, the person will feel low self-worth and self-esteem. Decisions will be made from fear, survival and scarcity. This is where greed for power and control arise.
Even when such a person attains the highest level of material success, it feels empty and void. Divorce and family breakdown is rife amongst such people.
To make better decisions, develop better relationships. You have a relationship with your:
- Mind (intelligence and creativity)
- Physical and nutritional (health)
- Family (parents, siblings, children, partner and very close friends)
- Vocation (job or business)
- Finances (cash flow and accumulated wealth)
- Legacy (contribution to the world beyond your family and career)
- Spiritual life (not necessarily religious)
An indication that you have high self-worth around one of the areas shows up like this. Generally, when someone brings up a discussion in that area of life, you’ll feel inspired, energised and enthused to talk about it.
On the other hand, areas of low self-worth lead to different behaviours. You’ll hesitate, procrastinate and deliberate a lot more when someone brings up a conversation in that area. You’ll avoid the topic or even the person who wants to talk about an area you don’t want anyone to know about.
Of course, quality of relationships ebb and flow. However, if you’re hoping to enjoy happiness and fulfilment as an influential leader, avoidance is a dangerous strategy. You’ve got to address the cause of your avoidance. Otherwise, it’ll bite your bum when you least expect it!
Rather, pay attention to the area you are avoiding. As a result, your ability to make better decisions and have a greater impact on the lives you touch will improve.
Develop meaningful relationships with the people who matter most to you and the 7 areas of your life. That way, the external success you’ll experience will feel far more fulfilling and enjoyable.